Expanding the Definition of Love
Queer relationships take many forms, expanding beyond the traditional expectation that love must be monogamous, romantic, or follow a single path. At Natural Pursuits, we celebrate the many ways people build connection—through deep friendships, committed partnerships, or unconventional relationship structures.
Breaking Free from Traditional Narratives
For too long, love has been defined as meet the right person, fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. This rigid, state-approved version prioritizes monogamous, heterosexual relationships and treats anything outside that framework as an outlier—or worse, a threat.
At Natural Pursuits, we focus on non-sexual relationships, creating space for queer people to experience their bodies without sexual expectation. But as Valentine’s Day approaches, love is often framed in traditional, romantic, and monogamous terms. We want to explore another side of queer life: how people build relationships that reflect who they truly are.
Queer love has always existed, adapting and thriving despite societal restrictions. This piece highlights the many ways queer people embrace connection, showcasing relationship structures that are intentional, fulfilling, and often overlooked.
Queer Relationships: Expanding Beyond Tradition
There is no single way to structure a relationship. While some people thrive in monogamy, others find fulfillment in open relationships, polyamory, queerplatonic partnerships, and other relationship styles.
There is no single way to structure a relationship. Different things shape how we connect—our attractions, desires, and even what’s available to us. Some people are drawn to intelligence or emotional bonds before physical attraction. Others feel a strong drive for sex, while some don’t feel it at all. Finding the right relationship structure depends on community size.
How We Define Our Relationships
Queer people have long reshaped traditional notions of love, creating models that fit their needs rather than adhering to societal expectations.
Below are some of the most common relationship structures:
Monogamy
A romantic and sexual relationship with one exclusive partner. Many people find stability and fulfillment in monogamy.
Non-Monogamy / Open Relationships
A relationship where partners allow sexual connections outside their partnership, ranging from occasional encounters to structured agreements.
Polyamory
Engaging in multiple romantic relationships simultaneously, with consent and communication at the core.
Solo Polyamory
A polyamorous approach that prioritizes independence, often avoiding hierarchies like primary/secondary partners.
Relationship Anarchy
A philosophy that rejects traditional relationship labels and rules, letting connections develop naturally.
Asexual Partnerships
Relationships that do not center on sexual attraction but instead focus on deep emotional bonds and mutual support.
Queerplatonic Partnerships
Non-romantic relationships that go beyond traditional friendship, often involving lifelong commitment, cohabitation, or shared responsibilities.
Hookups & Casual Relationships
For some, sexual connection is fulfilling without romantic attachment, while others prefer to separate sex from emotional intimacy.
Navigating Love: Trial, Error, and Self-Discovery
There’s no perfect formula for finding the right relationship model—many people spend years experimenting before landing on what works best for them. And what works for each of us is different at different times.
Some begin in monogamous relationships and later explore non-monogamy, realizing over time that monogamy wasn’t enough for them sexually. As one community member shared, “We started monogamous but realized over time that it wasn’t enough for us sexually. Opening up brought us closer.”
For others, trial and error has led to a deeper understanding of what they need in a partnership. Reflecting on a long-term monogamous relationship, one person acknowledged, “Expecting one person to meet all my needs was unrealistic. My open marriage has allowed me to explore my identity.”
Some who have ventured into polyamory have found that, rather than thriving in multiple partnerships, they value independence most. “After years of relationships that felt forced, I realized I thrive as a solo poly person. Independence is important to me,” one community member explained.
Sometimes, the path to self-discovery isn’t immediate. Many people grow up assuming that monogamy is the default, only to question later whether it truly aligns with their needs. “I thought monogamy was my only option until I listened to a podcast that made me rethink everything,” one person shared, highlighting how exposure to different perspectives can shift our understanding of love and connection.
What matters most is that relationships are approached with honesty, ethics, and respect. Trial and error is inevitable, but learning from those experiences and communicating openly with partners helps foster meaningful, fulfilling connections.
Closing Thoughts
Queer relationships challenge rigid societal norms, demonstrating that love and connection take countless forms. Whether monogamous, polyamorous, queerplatonic, or something else entirely, these relationships reflect deep thought, intention, and care.
In a world where conservative narratives attempt to define love narrowly, embracing diverse relationships isn’t just about personal happiness—it’s an act of resistance. By openly celebrating the ways we choose to love, we affirm that there is no “right” way to build a relationship—only the way that works for you.
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