As a queer nudist art mag, Natural Pursuits is invested in exploring our complex relationship with our bodies. Back in May we released the results of our online survey that asked our Twitter community’s thoughts about their bodies. The results showed a widespread prevalence of incredibly shitty feelings about our physical forms.  

We recently kicked off our series on Body Neutrality that offers an alternative perspective, shifting our mental energy away from self judgement and towards emphasizing what our bodies do for us. While we explore alternatives, we think it is equally important to understand the origins of our negative thoughts and emotions, so we can move past them.

We again reached out to our Twitter audience and invited them to participate in a survey to figure out the most common sources of shame in our community. An overwhelming 95% of our 80 respondents reported experiencing feelings of shame or embarrassment about their bodies at some point in their lives—a near universal experience. 

In this piece, we take a look at two of the common sources of shame — Society and Media Influence & Close Relationships. Photographs by Josh New taken at our event in studio in Tulsa, Oklahoma accompany this article and Michael Stewart taken at a NYE Event.

SOCIETY AND MEDIA INFLUENCES

It’s undeniable that society and media play a significant role in shaping our perception of what’s desirable. We see first-hand the preferential treatment and attention people with ideal physiques receive at bars, clubs or the gym. Moreover, our daily lives are inundated with a relentless barrage of images and videos portraying a stereotypical and narrow definition of beauty. As we scroll through Instagram or Twitter, we’re confronted with images of young men sporting chiseled abs, big dicks, and conventionally attractive features. This constant exposure and comparison to standards unattainable by most takes a toll on our mental well-being, leaving us feeling inadequate and unable to measure up to society’s narrow definition of beauty. 

To gauge the prevalence of these influences, our survey asked questions about how society and media impact our self-image.The responses from our Twitter community showed just how much these external forces mess with our relationship with our bodies. A staggering 93.8% said they compare their bodies to others and feel inferior or inadequate because of it. This widespread habit of measuring our worth against others speaks volumes about how society and media feed us this toxic body shame.

Given the pervasive culture of comparison, it is no surprise that 82.5% of folks said they feel pressured to conform to certain beauty standards or body ideals. This highlights how societal norms push us into narrow boxes of what’s considered acceptable and desirable. Trying to fit into these molds not only leaves us feeling inadequate but also contributes to the cultivation of body shame.

When confronted with media messages, a significant 83.8% of participants said they come across content that makes them feel dissatisfied or ashamed of their bodies. Understandably, 78.8% of respondents compared their bodies to the unrealistic images they see in the media. We unwittingly fall into this trap of comparing ourselves to airbrushed and digitally altered versions of people. It messes with our self-esteem and fuels the flames of body shame.

These findings provide a stark snapshot of the insidious influence society and media exert over our perception of ourselves. They underscore the urgent need for a radical paradigm shift.

IMPACT OF CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS  

Our survey on sources of body shame also attempted to measure the impact of our interactions with others, both in broader society and within personal relationships. These interactions frequently have the power to mold our self-perception and influence our level of body acceptance.

When it comes to general interactions, a substantial 71.4% of respondents said they have received unsolicited advice or comments about their bodies or weight. These unsolicited remarks often serve to reinforce oppressive societal beauty standards or perpetuate harmful stereotypes. Beyond just being really rude these comments also contribute to feelings of self-consciousness and body shame. Moreover, an alarming 61.3% of participants reported having experienced bullying or teasing specifically targeting their body or appearance. These hurtful acts inflict lasting damage on one’s self-esteem and body image.

Shifting our focus to personal relationships, the survey results reveal distressing patterns. A troubling 46.3% of participants reported experiencing body shame from a family member. These individuals, who are expected to provide unconditional love and support, can contribute to body shame through their words or actions. The impact of familial body shaming runs deep, often creating the core of our identity and self-worth.

Our survey revealed that, for many, friendships can be a source of their body shamed. Forty percent of respondents shared that they have been made to feel ashamed of their bodies by a friend. Ideally, our friends are a pillars of support, these findings emphasize that they frequently do the opposite, tearing us down. 

Twenty-four percent of respondents disclosed being made to feel ashamed of their bodies by a romantic partner or significant other. In a perfect world, intimate relationships should be sanctuaries of support, acceptance, and love. However, the introduction of body shame both undermines the foundation of a healthy relationship and one’s self-esteem.

These survey results highlight the impact of interactions on body shame. Whether it manifests as unsolicited comments, bullying, or hurtful behavior from loved ones, these experiences leave lasting emotional scars and can change the way we see ourselves. 

Our short exploration of the sources of body shame have uncovered the destructive influence of society, media, and close relationships. The survey results have highlighted the prevalence of societal pressure and unrealistic media standards that perpetuate feelings of inadequacy and comparison. Additionally, interactions within personal relationships, such as unsolicited comments and bullying, contribute to negative body image and self-esteem.

Armed with this knowledge, we have the power to resist and challenge these harmful narratives. Future posts here will provide possible options for changing the way we think about ourselves and about others. We need to work together to dismantle oppressive beauty standards and create a more compassionate and inclusive society. As queer people, we can reject societal norms, advocate for body diversity, and cultivate self-acceptance. This is a bit sappy, but let’s life one another up as we liberate ourselves from body shame.

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