Lost BoysPhotography by Zachary Astor

My personal relationship with casual nudity began when I was a child. I remember being young and playing in the mud with my sister and once we were done my grandmother stripped us down and sprayed us off with the garden hose and we just ran around naked laughing and having the best time. At another point I remember skinny dipping with my dad in our above ground pool when he got off work. He would take a dip before coming inside and showering. I didn’t grow up in a naked house, but my mother was always very clinical with nudity. It is just a body. Your body. Everyone’s body is different.

There is that age where it’s okay to be naked and, cut to adolescence when it’s not ok and your body and sexuality are weaponized. Especially in the south, where nudity is equated much more with pornography. Guys are supposed to be hairy with big manly dicks and girls should make sure their bodies are not distracting to boys. Being a chubby gay kid that was teased in the locker room definitely gave me much more reservations about nudity and group nudity even in a non-sexual way. I was ashamed of my body and didn’t want to bring any attention to myself.

A few years ago I started wanting to shoot Lost Boys and a painter friend who did a lot of nude work suggested that as an artist you shouldn’t ask of a model something you wouldn’t do yourself. It gives you more awareness of what you are asking of someone when you put yourself in their shoes and have the same experience. Another friend of mine, Karl, was trying to help me get started with the project and I mentioned that I wanted to be photographed naked or be in a situation where I was nude in front of others.

[Laughs] At this point I have become much more loving to myself in terms of body image and Karl suggested I come with him to his friend’s nudist gardening magazine party and the rest is history! [Laughs]

Coming to the first Natural Pursuits gathering was the first time I had purposefully been naked around a group of people. It was exciting and a little scary at first to be so vulnerable around others. After five minutes, for me at least, you forget you’re even naked. You carry on doing whatever you’re doing, but you just don’t have clothes on. It really helped me so much confront lingering issues I had about casual nudity and body image.

There are so many reasons! Men are beautiful!

Aside from that, to me it was a chance to try and make work that was about form and body and express that nudity does not equal pornography (porn is great, no shade). It was a way to meet different men and have conversations around body image, penis image, being gay and masculinity, what makes someone attractive.

I am a huge film and television nerd and we all know how fast women are sexualized especially for the male gaze. Men love to see two women kissing in a movie but it’s not ok to be a lesbian in real life. It’s ok to show women’s breasts or graphic sex scenes but rarely does that include the man’s body because, oh my god, folks can’t see a penis, or the world will end. #freethepenis

[Laughs] The overall concept was born from me wanting to do something fine art, just for the sake of creating something. I work mostly in fashion and portraiture but wanted to strip away the “fashion” and just show the beautiful human (in the case of my project, male) I see through my lens. I was also in a place especially after meeting so many like-minded folks at NP that I wanted to meet more gay men in non-sexual settings.

Sex is great and so much fun, but as gay men we focus so much on sex and “hotness” and it can get in the way of forming real connections with each other. Not always. I’m very sex positive and think that can connect us in so many ways as well, but it isn’t the only way. I wanted to hear from different gay men about their experiences with body image, with masculinity, with sexuality.

One of the most interesting things I’ve learned is that someone we view as so attractive or that has “the perfect body” are actually the ones with the biggest body image issues.

They are typically the ones I have to guide more and make more comfortable and open up. I also like to explore the ideas of masculinity and perceived masculinity. Like, what is masculine? Why do we care so much to be viewed as masculine?

I liked the idea of “Lost Boys” because as gay men we often get labeled by conservatives and sometimes families as “lost”, we get accused, and sometimes truthfully, of having “Peter Pan” syndrome. As humans (male or female) haven’t we all felt lost at times?

The idea of being lost and found, finding yourself, finding your voice, finding your tribe. As a country boy in the city getting “lost” in nature and what you find, our connection to the earth. What can happen when you just relax, take your clothes off and just free yourself in the forest like an animal. Opening yourself up to the space that surrounds you. Showing a bit of yourself, figuratively and literally, to a stranger and sharing your experience.

Getting participants is still something that I struggle with. So many guys will get drawn or sketched nude, but there is still a hangup about having a nude photograph out in the world of yourself. Why are “classical” forms of art like drawing or sculpture not pornographic, but if it’s a photograph it becomes pornographic or at the least more shameful or cause for concern?

I started by reaching out to men that I was drawn to for whatever reason and just asked them! I reached out to folks that have done posed nude before because I know they are already more comfortable.

My favorite though is someone who hasn’t really done it before and is down for the experience. Once I started shooting and people were responding to the work it was easier to get participants because they could see how I was portraying other participants and knew that they were not going to be shown in a way they did not want to be viewed.

Shooting outside is amazing! I typically shoot in a heavily wooded park uptown in Manhattan and it’s a fun way to spend a few hours! We take a bit of a hike and just chat and stop here and there to snap some photos and continue on our hike and conversation.

I’m a talker so it’s nice to me. I’ll talk to anybody and love hearing anything someone wants to share. I want the experience to be fun and lighthearted. I try to let the conversation lead itself and let the model share or talk about whatever they want. That’s what it is about to me. Hearing from them, getting to know them as much as I can in two or three hours.

I make sure that the model is comfortable, and I listen to their boundaries during the session. When working with any model, especially someone who is nude, I think that is the most important part. I want the participants to love the images and be proud of them and feel beautiful.

Speaking of participants, a quick thank you to each model that gave me a chance and came for an adventure. We’ve made some really beautiful images and I hope you know I really appreciate your openness to participate and share some of yourself with me.